dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
