I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
