Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
