youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
