i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
