hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
