it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
