Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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