I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
