I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
