I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What drink are we having for lunch?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
