so that wasnt chicken after all
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
