I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
