He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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