real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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