Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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