Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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