I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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