The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
