i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
