I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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