We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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