well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
