oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
