Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i drank out of a bidet.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
