i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
