I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
