dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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