I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
