Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
