If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
