I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
