I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
