I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
