I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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