dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize
