It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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