what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
