My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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