i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
