East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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