I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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