it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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