So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
