At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
