Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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