just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
