He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
