he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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