Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
