i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
