i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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