I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize