I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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