Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
