i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
