I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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