Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
