u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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