Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
