That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
